So the unfill so far has been a GREAT success! I slept through the night, no choking episodes. Woot! I can drink water without pain and am looking forward to having a wonderful day.
The comments I am referring to are actual comments from people I encounter on a daily, weekly, monthly basis. Some see me everyday and some haven't seen me for a while but they "recognize" my weight loss at different times. For the most part I am happy to have a compliment, but the COMMENTS that come after the compliment could use some adjusting. For example, this is one I have gotten at least 15 times, "You are looking really great. I am so inspired by your weight loss.....now we just need to get you a boyfriend."
Um....ok....because that is now going to make me complete? or did I just not deserve a boyfriend when I was fat? or do you really think that I have done all this work for someone other than myself?
Could just be the sensitive fat girl that still lurks within but dang, just believe that I did this because I wanted to do it for me! Not so some guy could get into my now skinny jeans. Although, I am not ruling that out. :)
Anyone else getting the backhanded compliments?
14 comments:
Yes, drives me nuts. Or "now that you've lost 80 lbs, you need to start fixing your hair and wearing make-up." (Haha, I probably do, but still!)
I hate when people insinuate we need men to make us feel like we're doing a great job. Umm, I don't know about you, but I don't have TIME for all the maintenance that comes with having a man. LOL
I used to get tons of comments from the little old ladies at my church. They'd say things like, "You're so pretty." which I took to mean that they must have thought I was ugly before. I posted about it and someone commented that maybe I was being too sensitive. I will say that now that I've lost all the weight and have been in maintenance for several months, people seldom comment so it doesn't last!
Just smile and say thank you and remember not to draw so much attention to those around you when they lose weight. Even the most innocuous comments can sting to someone who'd struggling with their weight.
The thing tht gets me the most is that now, men will run to grab the door for me, when before I could have been carrying a boulder and no one would help! The comments are a double edged sword, but...the good part is we get to choose how they make us feel!
Very familiar with those comments. Some times I want to be just as rude and say something back but I don't. I think those type of people would be shocked if people did do that.
Maybe that's what it is....they don't think people will say much back. lol
Sandra
Because you couldn't possibly have gotten a boyfriend before and your life can't possibly be complete without one now?!?! How annoying. I'm with Tessie on this one though. Now people (men and women alike) hold doors open for me, make eye contact, smile...didn't happen nearly as often before. It's nice but it makes you realize how poorly you were treated before. Try to shake it off.
Good lord, if people could hear themselves.
My mother, I love her, but now we don't talk about my weight she is on to my hair! First thing today....she comments on getting extensions to help with my thin hair. I've always had thin hair....no change MOM.
"What did you get a boyfriend or something?".
"You trying to finally get married after all these years?"
"You look so much better like this."
One of my favorites: "You're on another diet. Doing anything differently this time?" (There's truth to that one, so that probably added to the sting.)
Oh, the list is endless...Glad you are feeling better!
Crazy!! I would have said something along this line. I already have one. His name is BOB (battery operated boyfriend). I'm horrible...and I just can't stand not to have the last word. LOL
LMAO Dawyna! I think people are so tacky at times! I think it is funny how people feel threatened by people who lost weight. Maybe it is because they have their own weight issues or whatever. I truly believe that people especially women need to work on that!
I am glad your unfill is working!
*LOL at Dawnya's comment* I agree, people really have no idea how they sound. My favorite lately has been a coworker that keeps telling me I'm going to be as small as her. Ummm...hate to tell you chicka, I mean to be smaller than you!
Oh, I hear ya. My MIL is insanely jealous of my success (she's also straight-up insane). She is constantly talking about how my new haircut and color really, really, really compliment my face. Yes, it couldn't have anything to do with losing 174 lbs, could it? Nope, it's all just the hair. She absolutely, steadfastly refuses to acknowledge that I've lost an ounce. Whatever. It's laughable at this point.
I truely think people open their mouths without thinking at all. We just need to try to laugh about it all. Tough to do but it is the only way to keep sane.
I think folks (in their own inane or insane way) think they're being helpful - when actually they're not. Shake it off, knowing that you are doing just wonderfully where you are - and owning it!
Truly laughable..
This comments are all similar to the distorted comments made to fat chicks ie. 'you have such a pretty face'. GAG.
Post a Comment